idea for a nonprofit cartoon

I cannot draw, so here goes.

IDEA FOR NONPROFIT CARTOON:

A man sits on the street holding a sign, "Homeless. Please help." His mouth is open in astonishment at what he just heard.

A foundation director stands before him, hands on hips.

"I am sorry, first I need to see your Form 990 and most recently completed audit."


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Don't quit your day job, Mr. Gregg.

I love all of our donors, but....

. . . sometimes I feel like this.

Happy Friday!

Why do most nonprofit PSAs suck?

I sometimes wonder how much more effective nonprofit PSAs (Public Service Announcements) would be if they didn't take themselves so seriously.

Here is a nice example of a lo-fi commercial that spends more time laughing at itself than selling its product. The result? Something very viral that already has nearly a quarter-million views.

Sure, it's for a Cuban gynecologist who is now an American autosalesman... but why couldn't the neighborhood food pantry or city animal shelter have a similar tongue-in-cheek approach to fundraising? Why must philanthropy be so serious all the time?

Consider ways that you can help your donors to have a little fun. At a time like this, maybe that would go a lot further with them than the typical heavy-handed nonprofit doomsday message.

I'm just sayin'.

Enjoy:

Cartoon: Robin Hood's Tax Advice

“You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor.”

ID: 123824, Published in The New Yorker April 9, 2007

listening to Jeff Buckley and dreaming of the great illusive gift from the sky

Precious, precious silver and gold and pearls in oyster's flesh / Drop down we two to serve and pray to love

Face it, fundraiser, you cain't never get 'nuff. You a junkie.

"If only you'd come back to me
If you laid at my side
I wouldn't need no Mojo Pin to keep me satisfied"

[where: 75223]

To be or not to be a Rockefeller?

EXPOSED Clark Rockefeller, a k a Christopher Chichester, but actually Christian Gerhartsreiter, now in custody.

When I was getting married, my wife decided to change her last name to mine despite her successful law career built under her maiden name.

I told her that, while we were at it, we should just change our name to Rockefeller so that I could energize my career in philanthropy.

Turns out I was not the first person to think of that:
Ready-Made Rockefeller - NYTimes.com

Amazing.

[where: 75223]

Email Bankruptcy

Schutze don't need your shiznit

Jim Schutze, who among other things has been named the Best Muckraker in Dallas by D Magazine, sent out this brilliant email recently:

SUBJECT: Email Bankruptcy
BODY: I have been out of the office for a couple weeks and regret that I must declare email bankruptcy. This means that I am deleting everything in my in-box. I hate to be a pest, but if you have sent me something important recently, would you mind resending it? Doing so will help me work my way back to email solvency, and I will be forever in your debt. In fact, if too many people help me in this way, I will be in too much email debt, and then ... you already know what happens.

I am totally stealing this idea the next time I get back from vacation.

[where: 75223]

Will Boone Pickens and Al Gore join forces to save America?

I am amazed by what I am seeing from legendary oilaman T. Boone Pickens at his new Web site, PickensPlan. In brief, Mr. Pickens proposes to wean America from its addiction to oil in ten years. Check it out here:

http://www.pickensplan.com/

His message sounds shockingly similar to that of his political opponent, Al Gore, whose Democratic party was derailed in its attempt to elect John Kerry by Mr. Pickens' Swift Boat campaign. Check out Al Gore's plan here:

http://www.wecansolveit.org/

Or, watch the videos below.

T. Boone Pickens' Plan


Al Gore's Plan
(this video appears to be having some issues, so watch it here:
http://www.wecansolveit.org/pages/al_gore_a_generational_challenge_to_repower_america/

Friends in Desperate Times (R.I.P. Joseph Newell)

"I wanted you to know because you're the only friend I have left," she said.

We stood alone in the small room adjacent to the Resource Center on Haskell Avenue, where today hundreds of people are waiting in line to receive groceries from Central Dallas Ministries.

"You're the only person that I thought would care."

Her hand felt so much more rough than it had three weeks earlier, when she and her husband had come to tell me she’d been fired from the job that I got for her.

They made the long walk to my office just to let me to know that they would be OK.

I gave them what little I had -- ten bucks, maybe. I also snuck them into the Resource Center after hours and got them each a bag full of food. I am not supposed to do that; but I did not know what else to do.

I thought I would have time to figure it out.

Time ran out today.


****


"Barbara is here to tell you that Joseph is dead."

Our receptionist's head had cautiously stuck itself into our Monday morning exec meeting. He delivered the words apologetically, as if we should not have been interrupted. I sat stunned as he read the words off a note in the same way that he might have told me that my parking meter had expired... as if it was something I should probably attend to, but not something so urgent that I would have to leave my meeting.

I suppose I should not blame him. We're in a war, after all. Only it's turning out to be more like Apocalypse Now than I'd realized when I signed up for this fight.

The shit piled up so fast in Vietnam you needed wings to stay above it.

Barbara and Joseph did not have wings. They, like the rest of, fell off their clouds long ago.

She had returned to tell me that Joseph had been electrocuted, probably while trying to steal some copper to sell as scrap. She still does not know where his body is being kept.


****


At this point, my mind returned to a conversation that I had nearly two years ago with another woman who was living on the streets. She was a Catholic, and came to the pantry in utter panic asking if there was a Catholic she could talk to. Somehow, she found me.

We prayed together, during which time she told me about how she had been attacked by a group of men the night before... and it had not been the first time. She went into the sort of detail that not even a criminal investigator would want to know.

I could not stop her. She told me that she just had to get it out. I wanted to ask how I could help, but she just kept telling me more and more of the things that had happened to her.

That's when I remembered that she'd asked for a Catholic. She was not looking for help: she was looking for confession, for Salvation.

She blamed herself for all of this happening to her. She said that she wanted to die, but that it was a sin to kill yourself.

I do not have the words to explain the horror that lived in her deep, dark eyes.

I finally got her to stop for long enough that I could ask her what I could do to help -- she had only one request.

"Just pray that they don't eat my body when I'm dead."

She was serious.

“They’re vampires. They’re going to eat me when I die. Please pray they don’t find my corpse.”


****


I was born rich and white. These two facts alone are almost enough to ensure that I will never become like one of my three friends above, all of whom were born poor and black.... and at least one of whom has died the same.

I have not seen my Catholic friend since that day. Our parting was a confused mix of tears and her shouting, during which I could not think clearly enough to even ask her name.

I will not pretend to understand how frustrating it is to be looked at differently on the street because of skin color, or how infuriating it must be to be denied jobs, housing and basic rights just because of race.

But to think that all of my hopes might be reduced to nothing more than a single desperate wish that a stranger will pray that my corpse be hidden forever in shade. . . ?

This is beyond anything I could ever fathom in even my darkest imaginings of hell.


****


I did not know what to say, so I grabbed Barbara and pulled her close. Our tears stained each other's shirts. We must have been an odd pair, emerging from the small warehouse room with red eyes... me in my suit, her in her torn and muddied clothes, skullcap pulled down tight in the hopes that she will look like a man.

She had not seen Joseph for two weeks -- I had heard a rumor that he had left one night with all of their money, plus some cash from their friends at the camp, to go buy some more crack. He had never returned.

Street justice is swift and harsh. The men took their revenege out on her. I won't describe what that entailed.

But the beast was not fully fed. Joseph would still have to pay.

Barbara tried finding him to let him know he was a marked man. Before she could, he was dead.


****

Barbara is a drug addict. So was her husband, Joseph. I am convinced that the only difference between me and them is that I am surrounded by friends and loved ones who would not let me throw myself into such a dark place.

"You're the only male friend I have in my life," Joseph had told me a few weeks earlier. We were talking about relationships, about our desire to take care of our loved ones, and about work. He shared with me like few people have before.

I gave him money to get a haircut. I assumed he would use it for drugs.

But before he died, I saw Joseph. He’d gotten a job helping out at the Farmer's Market. He smiled when he saw me, and proudly took off his hat to show me his hair.

He looked nice.

He looked proud.

He looked . . . hopeful.


****


Rest in peace, Joseph. I will never forget you.

[where: 75223]

The Dude Abides....

This is beyond fantastic:

Dudeism.com - The Church of the Latter-Day Dude



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Addictomatic: Inhale the Web

Addictomatic is possibly the most addictive Web site since Free Rice.

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This Sunday is Mother's Day... here are 5 things NOT to buy

Moms are the ultimate donors: they gave us life.

Don't mess up your long-term donor cultivation with an inappropriate gift:

Five things you should never buy as a Mother's Day gift - Parenting on Shine
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/five-things-you-should-never-buy-as-a-mothers-day-gift-167260/


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I'm it, and now you are

Thanks to the Donor Power Blog for this tag:

1. Pick up the nearest book.


2. Open to page 123.


3. Find the fifth sentence.


4. Post the next three sentences.


5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

For me, the book was "The Elements of Persuasion: Use of Storytelling to Pitch Better, Sell Faster and Win More Business" by Richard Maxwell & Robert Dickman. The book has been sitting on my desk for months, having been sent to me by the publishers in the hopes that I would review it.

I still plan to do that. Honestly. I just have this problem with finishing books... I start them all. Even great ones remain unfinished. Indeed, I would say that I have started some of the greatest books in the world -- and when and if I ever finish them, I will be a better man for it. Besides, Ardath Albee already wrote a fine review here.

But back to the task at hand.

Page 123 lies within Chapter Six -- Sticky Stories: Memory, Emotions and Markets.

After skipping five full sentences, here is what I have for the next three sentences:

"We know we have, though our particular version adds the wrinkle of also not having any pants (we know, don't ask). If you have spent any time onstage -- and the stage doesn't have to be large; a seat in the corporate boardroom, or a room in which you are standing in front of a screen with a PowerPoint running behind you as you make a presentation to clients, or event an office where you are running through a well-rehearsed pitch to your boss for the raise you so richly deserve is more than large enough -- we can almost guarantee you've had some variation of it. As we mentioned in chapter 2, stage fright is a universal."

My God, that was a long three sentences...

Anyway, TAG! YOU'RE IT! Since I was not really tagged by Jeff Brooks, creative director at Merkle, for this exercise... I am just openly tagging all of you.

Come on, Phil Cubeta, I bet you're up for it.
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PostSecret

Years ago, I came across PostSecret and have remained fascinated by it.

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

Check it out here:
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/



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How to Give a Damn

My CEO was asked to give a presentation entitled, "10 Things you can do to seek justice and do compassion." He solicited input from a few of us on staff at CDM.

Here's what I sent, while thinking of St. Francis of Assisi's words "Preach the Gospel at all times; only use words when necessary."

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There is great value in learning how to live your life by pretending to be someone else for a day. Here are some "guises" that, if worn for 24 hours, could change all of our lives.

1. Jesus the Mute. Try to preach the Gospel at all times while being unable to use words. Literally, do not say a word all day, but imagine that it is your day of trial and God has asked you to share His word through your actions. What would you do?
2. Our homeless neighbor. Dress down and spend a day -- and, if you can, a night -- walking the streets of your community as a homeless person. See what it is like to try to access the resources that you need without money. Go to the library, the local soup kitchen, the shelters, and other resources and see what it feels like to be the "unseen seen."
3. Our imprisoned neighbor. It is likely impossible to convince a jail to let you stay there for a day without locking you up for doing something, but go and visit a prison just to see what it's like. Don't go to "minister" or to evangelize. Just go to get to know people.
4. Our hungry neighbor. Go all day without eating, but not while avoiding those who eat. Sit with your family at breakfast and don't eat. Sit in the lunchroom while your coworkers eat. Go through the mall's food court during dinner time and just observe people eating. This is hunger.
5. Our blind neighbor. Try to spend a day in your home while wearing a blindfold. Imagine if that were your everyday… and if you did not know where you were as well as you know your home.
6. Our deaf neighbor. This is hard to do, and usually requires some expensive hardware… but try to find a way to block noise from getting to your ears for a day. Imagine if music died for you. Imagine if you could only see the mouth moving the words "I love you," but not hear it.
7. Our disabled neighbor. Spend a day in a wheelchair -- a MANUAL wheelchair. Go to the mall. Go through an outdoor shopping center. Go to the library. Experience life with limited mobility.
8. Our uninsured neighbor. Go to your county hospital's emergency room and report that you have a toothache but no insurance or ability to pay. See how long it takes to see a doctor.
9. Our defenseless neighbor. Go to the county courts and observe the trials. If possible, try to get into a family court case. Imagine what it would be like to be the battered woman who cannot afford an attorney.
10. Our poor neighbor. Imagine that you make minimum wage. Create your family budget based on this. How quickly do you run out of money? How much do you need to earn per hour just to have the bare minimum that you expect out of life? How much do you need to earn for your current life? Call apartments and ask about rent -- how much would you need to make to afford them? Would you consider living in one of the places that you could afford if you were making minimum wage?

On this last note, you should visit Poverty Tour USA from the Catholic Campaign for Human Development:

http://www.nccbuscc.org/cchd/povertyusa/tour2.htm

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Maybe we're not so important after all...

Thanks to StumbleUpon for helping me to discover this humbling animation...

It takes a few seconds to load, so click here.

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Someone, please, turn off the Internet...

This is likely a sign of the end-times.
StumbleUpon.com is a pretty brilliant way to waste a lot of time seeing the stranger parts of the Web. I highly suggest visiting the demo to see if it's for you.


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VIDEO: She without arm, he without leg - ballet - Hand in Hand

I could think of no other way to introduce this amazing video than a poem by the master himself.

A Dedication
by James Merrill

Hans, there are moments when the mind
Resolves itself into a pair of brimming eyes, or lips
Parting to drink from the deep spring of a death
That freshness they do not yet need to understand.
These are the moments, if ever, an angel steps
Into the mind, like kings into the dress of a
Poor goatherd, for their acts of charity.
There are moments when speech is but a mouth pressed
Lightly and humbly against the angel's hand.



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The Camel through the Needle's Eye, by Fr. Roch Kereszty

I have been blessed with many mentors in my life: John Roppolo (2005 Fundraiser of the Year in the local AFP chapter), Larry James (2005-6 United Way Agency Executive of the Year), Willard Spiegelman and even the blogosphere's own Phil Cubeta has shaped me in his own way.

But few have had the deep, lasting impact of my dear friend and lifelong teacher, Fr. Roch Kereszty, O. Cist.

A native of Hungary, Fr. Roch was educated at the Athenaeum Anselmianum in Rome as well as Eotvos Lorant University in Budapest. He serves nobly yet humbly in many posts, including Head of the Theology Department at Cistercian Prep School. He is also, in many ways, the father of my faith as a Catholic, something I resisted bitterly while under his direct tutelage by later embraced.

Like many great teachers, his greatest lessons were learned many years after he left the daily passage of my life.

Below is one of his more insightful articles, which I have pasted in its entirety for your review. I find it to be incredibly challenging for all of us, particularly those in the business of soliciting or providing charitable donations:

“It is easier for a camel to pass through a needle’s eye than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”

"This is one of those sayings of Jesus which has caused much anxiety for many people (Mt 19:24). The first to be disturbed were the apostles themselves. “Who then can be saved?” –they ask Jesus. He restores their peace: “This is impossible for men but for God all things are possible” Mt 19: 26). In other words, wealth can be an insurmountable obstacle if someone is so attached to it as the young man was to whom Jesus told to sell all he had, give the money to the poor and literally follow him. But Jesus did not give the same command to every rich person. He even accepts invitations to rich people’s homes.

"He does not demand from Simon the Pharisee to sell his property. Instead, he tells his audience in a Pharisee’s house that when they invite people, they should invite the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind, those who cannot repay the host (Lk 14: 12‐14).

"We also learn from the Acts of the Apostles and from Paul’s letters that there were rich people among the first Christians (Acts 20:7‐12). Their homes served as meeting places for the local churches in every city where Paul established a Christian community (Rom 16:23, 1 Cor 16: 15,19, Phlm 1‐2). Paul does not despair about their salvation as long as they are sharing their wealth with the poor generously and serve the needs of the Church.

"A just social order does not mean that everyone would have an equal share of goods, ‐‐ an impossible ideal anyway—it is one in which everyone who works and those who cannot work such as children, the sick and the elderly, would have a fair share in the goods of the world. In our sinful world, however, we must strive for this goal, but we will never fully reach it. Yet we can turn this sorry state of affairs to our own advantage. Are we affluent, this indicates our vocation to use our wealth to help those who are in need and in this way learn to be generous and even humble when we realize that some of the poor would more deserve the good life than we ourselves do.

"Are we poor or indigent, we can learn gratitude toward those who are helping us. The Fathers of the Church and more recently Paul VI explained in his encyclical opulorum Progressio that what is truly superfluous to the rich man and his family does not belong to him but to those in need. This, of course, cannot mean that all superfluous wealth ought to be given away in form of charitable donations. That would ruin the economy of any society. But wealth should be used to provide job opportunities, promote better health services and better education for children who are caught in the vicious circle of poor neighborhood and poor schools, they could endow foundations which provide effective help, etc.

"There are people, however, who are extremely generous with material help but also extremely proud of their status, talents and virtues. They can belong to the poor in spirit to whom the kingdom of heaven belongs only if they discover their real situation: all that they have and all that they are is undeserved gift, a cause for gratitude rather than pride. Blessed are they if they realize this fact before death deprives them of all they cherish."
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Press conference announcing no-cost prescriptions for uninsured

Thank you to Channel 8 for posting your coverage of Central Dallas Ministries' press conference online here:


http://www.wfaa.com/video/index.html?nvid=232336&shu=1

WHO:
Central Dallas Ministries, CommuniCare; Baylor Health Care System; Abbott, AstraZeneca, Merck, and Novartis.

WHAT:
News conference announcing partnership that will provide no-cost prescription drug program for uninsured families in Dallas.

WHEN:
April 2, 2008 – 11:00 a.m.

WHERE:
Central Dallas Ministries’ Health Clinic, 801 N. Peak Street, Dallas TX

The news conference will announce the partnership between Central Dallas Ministries (www.CentralDallasMinistries.org) and CommuniCare (www.CommuniCare.us), including how the two will work together to serve working uninsured patients in the next year in the Dallas area. This is the first time CommuniCare is moving outside the borders of South Carolina to bring its no-cost prescription drug program to the working uninsured in other states.

Several patients will be available for interviews, as well as the following speakers:

• Central Dallas Ministries President/CEO Larry James
• Dr. Jim Walton, Baylor Health Care System Vice President, Chief Health Equity Officer
• CommuniCare CEO Ken Trogdon
• Representatives from the initial group of pharmaceutical companies providing free prescription medications for this initiative – Abbott, AstraZeneca, Merck, and Novartis

About Central Dallas Ministries
Celebrating its 20th year of service to the community, Central Dallas Ministries is one of the largest, most effective faith-based organizations in North Texas. CDM operates a network of hunger relief, healthcare, housing, legal service, employment training and educational programs serving more than 30,000 people throughout the Greater Dallas area. CDM's health programs alone distributed over 17,000 prescriptions to 2,024 uninsured patients during 2007.

About CommuniCare
CommuniCare is an innovative model of non-governmental healthcare intervention serving more than 14,000 patients in 46 South Carolina counties. This safety net of care provides needed medical information, treatment and medications at no cost to the working uninsured in our state who do not qualify for Medicaid, Medicare or VA insurance. CommuniCare also operates Smiles, five pediatric dental care programs caring for more than 5,000 children from limited income families who would not otherwise have access to oral healthcare. CommuniCare works through a unique network of 2500 volunteer physicians, 11 pharmaceutical companies, pharmacies and hospitals that donate their services and prescription drugs to approved patients.

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